Unopened Letters To The World
by blood4poppies
Summary: Takes place during Rise Of The Tomb Raider. Lara writes Sam many letters while she's away looking for the Divine Source, despite Sam's wishes. LaraxSam. M for language and later content.
1. APOLOGIES

**A/N: Hey there, guys! It's been a long time. I haven't been feeling inspired, and have had major writer's block. My stories seem to go nowhere, and I hardly have time to write these days. But my life has improved for the better, and I'm having a lot more ideas flowing. I've gotten ROTTR, and I absolutely love it, and with the absence of everyone's favorite camera-woman Sam, and inspiration from the several documents in game that you discover, I decided to kick my writer's block in the ass. This story is basically Lara writing Sam letters, and recording memos for her while she's away. I hope you all like it.**

 _ **Di**_ _ **sclaimer: I don't own anything.**_

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 **DOCUMENT: LETTERS TO S** **AM: APOLOGIES**

I'm so sorry, Sam. For everything I've done. I'll find a way to help you. I promise.

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 _My Dearest,_

 _It's burned in the back of my mind. The last day I saw your face at H.M. Prison Holloway. I remember your almost catatonic state, those scratches all over your arms, leaving me wondering whether or not you did that to yourself, or If the man you attacked did in self defense. I remember pleading for you to come back to me. Shaking, as I cried telling you I'd find a way to raise your bail, get you out….find someone for you to talk to. The relief I felt as you returned to me, your hand in the exact same area mine was on the glass barrier between us. Then the sudden shift of my heart dropping to my stomach as you got angry, asking me if I was leaving again. I remember you turning your back and walking away while I sat, screaming, pleading on the other side for you to come back to me. I remember everything. Now, I sit here, alone in this cold, run down apartment playing mental reruns of it. You're not you anymore, and I could easily see that. Himiko has to be possessing you somehow, I know, that sounds absolutely insane but, it's one of the only things that makes sense to me at this very moment. I'm so sorry for all of this, darling. Before he died, Roth apologized to me the very same way I'm apologizing to you now. From the bottom of my blackened, beaten heart, I'm sorry Sam. I got you into this mess. I am the reason for your pain and your suffering, and It kills me knowing that there is absolutely nothing I can do alone, that can help you now. I'm completely and utterly lost without you.._

 _My therapist asked about you today, asked if we had been in touch. My heart broke over again as I turned that memory over once more. You don't want to see me. At least, the possessed you doesn't, although I'm not quite sure anymore. I don't think that I'll ever accept this, or get used to it. I'm convinced that something's very wrong, that this isn't the woman I love. I've spent every waking moment, researching possessions, as well as burying myself in Dad's work before he died. I'm not giving up on you, my love. As much as you want me to, and as much as I tell others that this is what you want, I know better. I'll find a way to bring you back to me, if it's the last thing I do._

 _Love,_

 _Lara._

 **A/N: I'm trying to give a feel for the documents, and recordings that you find in the game, so far I think I'm doing fairly well, maybe I could do better, I don't know. Your feedback is appreciated! Thanks for reading!**


	2. LOOKING BACK

**A/N: I'm gonna keep this short and sweet. I'd like to thank the new followers, and my beta, although I'm totally positive that she's biased. But if she says it's good, I'm gonna go with that. I apologize in advance for any spoilers ahead for you PC and PlayStation owners! Anyways, onto the second letter.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.**

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 **DOCUMENTS: LETTERS TO SAM: LOOKING BACK**

I remember that night like it was yesterday, god I miss you so much.

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 _My Darling Samantha,_

 _I've been exorbitantly distracted. "I think pain is easiest to avoid by filling the days with distractions - I wish to remove everything to search for a truth." A famous magician once said that, and I believe that it is accurate. That's what I'm doing. My therapist, along with Ana have encouraged me to do something useful...it's helping me focus. Dad had been researching something similar to what we experienced at Yamatai, I've been trying to find the connection on the side from the possession research. I think I found something. You remember Ana, right? After the island, before Mexico, before all this mess. She had us over to the manor for dinner once she discovered you and I were together. God, I remember her interrogating you like you were some sort of criminal. But you handled it just like I thought you would. With absolute grace, I'll never forget how In love I was with you in that moment where you looked her in the eye and spoke to her respectfully, regarding me:_

" _Ana, there are a million and one reasons why people think that Lara and I don't work. I mean, just look at us both. She and I have our differences, but you don't know the hell that we've been through together. How hard Lara and I have worked to get here, to where we are now. She saved my-I apologize, fucking life on that Island. I owe my everything to her. I can't stand it when we're apart. And every time I look at her, my life is given a purpose again. I love your girl...I just..needed you to know that."_

 _She sat there, and nodded slowly, let out a small sigh and lit a cigarette as she looked over at me. She asked me If I loved you. I told her that I've found my purpose, because of you, and that I did, irrevocably. I felt your hand shaking in mine underneath the table as she smiled, and told us that we had her blessing, that my father would have loved you. He would have too, sweetheart._

 _Then the fights came, and you weren't you anymore. With everything that happened after that night, you threw accusations at me, that I couldn't let you in anymore. No one got to be the hero but me. Those words cut me deeper than most, and they will continue to hurt for days to come. I've lost you so many times that my heart couldn't bear to do it again, I feared that this would be it. This couldn't have been it._

 _Then you were detained. I promised you that I'd put up the funds to get you out, to get you the help that you need while I find a way to rid you of Himiko. And I did just that. I've tried to visit you since, but your doctors won't let me, they tell me you still don't want to see me. I tell everyone I have no choice but to accept it, but I'm lying. I can't accept it. People are starting to talk, they say I'm deranged, like my father. There has to be a way. I can't shake this feeling, I can't eat, I take drugs to keep me awake at night to research. Though, Im focused, no new find or pertinent information, can fill this chasm inside of me. I know exactly why I feel this way though:_

 _I lost my purpose, when I lost you._

 _I'm gonna fight like hell to get It back, to get you back, and that's a promise I intend to keep._

 _I love you. With all of my heart,_

 _Lara_

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 **A/N: And thats it! The chapters will also be posted on my tumblr if that's more your thing. Starting next chapter, I'm going to start getting into "Rise" itself. So I do apologize for spoilers. If you like what you've read, favorite, follow, review. Later Days!**


	3. MOTIVATION

**A/N: HI everybody! I hope you all have been enjoying "Rise Of The Tomb Raider" as much as I have! Anyways, I would like to clear something up for those who have not played Rise and do not understand why Lara's father is being brought up so much. *SPOILER ALERT* Lara's father died when she was around 7-9ish I'm gonna say. He had been studying the key to the immortal soul, something VERY similar to Himiko. This drove Lara to continue his research. It's basically the plot of "Rise." So now that that's cleared up, third chapter**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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 **DOCUMENT: LETTERS TO SAM: MOTIVATION**  
I'm close to something. If only I can find the connections to understand what's going on with you, Sam.

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 _My Love,_

 _I've been spending a lot of time with Jonah lately. He's been one of the only people, apart from you who understands what I went through. My therapist thinks that spending time with him is unhealthy. "He's a reminder of the past. You're going back to the island in your head, over and over again to the exclusion of everything else." He says. Bollocks. You and Jonah are the only people who make me feel like myself. Like, I'm not crazy. I was asked if I enjoyed "taking control of the situation" while we were stranded. I had no choice. I did it because I had no choice….I don't know who I am anymore, Sam. When I ask myself that over and over again, I can't tell if I'm being hard headed or worse, terrified of the real answers, as much as I'd like to believe that I did what I had to. My heart aches at thought of you not being here to reassure me. You were always the light in the darkness. You gave me reason to keep going when all I wanted to do was lay there and die._

 _But you're not here, when I need you the most. What I'd give to look into those beautiful, grey eyes again. The ones that took and continue to take my breath away…the eyes that see me the way that no eyes ever have, or ever will. The pain of losing you…knowing that another soul is…more prominent in you, than you, is too hard to imagine, too hard to bear. Though I've found something that might be useful. I've been studying Japanese folklore, exorcism and spirits. According to traditional Japanese beliefs, all humans have a spirit or soul called a reikon. When a person dies, the soul leaves the body and enters some sort of a purgatory, where it waits for the proper rites to be performed, so that it may move on. However, if the proper rites have not been performed, or if they are influenced by powerful emotions such as a desire for revenge, love, jealousy, hatred or sorrow, it is thought to transform into a yūrei, which can then bridge the gap back to the physical world. Which, can explain the storms. But not Himiko's immortal soul. That's where Dad's research comes in._

 _Before he died, for years he had been searching for the key to the immortal soul. A Deathless Prophet, Himiko…I know there's a connection, I just can't quite make it. Not yet. I truly believe that If one person can crack my father's research. It's me..though, a group named Trinity has been interested in my father's research as well. It's funny…my mother was the reason why Dad was so set on his studies. It seems history is repeating itself with us. I have to do this, I need to do this, for you, darling. After this is all over, perhaps we can settle down like we talked about, get that six-bedroom on Faulkbourne Road in Witham… maybe someday fill it up with children. Sometimes I worry, whether or not I'll be a good mother. I don't ever want to be…distracted caught up in my work like my father was. I don't think I ever would be…I'd have you to pull me back to reality. I've come so far, discovered so much. I can't give up. I won't….I miss you, dad and Roth every day. I'll continue to write to you. Just promise me one thing: fight like hell, Sam. I know you're in there and you're stronger than you think. You can do it, I believe in you._

 _Yours,_  
 _Lara_

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 **A/N: There we go! NEXT CHAPTER, I will finally be getting into the beginning of "Rise" so be prepared for mild spoilers. If you like what you read, review, favorite, follow. If you don't well, don't say anything. If you would like to offer constructive criticism, please refrain from the review section, and PM me instead. Thanks you guys.**


	4. SYRIA

**A/N: Happy Thanksgiving/Black Friday to all of you! I hope you all have had a good holiday! I just have now finished "Rise of The Tomb Raider" and I am not really pleased with how it ended in a way. However, we are now seeing the beginning of "Rise" in this chapter after Ana (Lord Croft's former lover) convinces Lara in her apartment to get her life straightened out. This letter is written that night Lara says she's traveling to Syria in search of the Prophet's tomb.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything, anything at all.**

 **SPOILER ALERT: *Rise of the Tomb Raider" spoilers beyond this point***

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 **DOCUMENT: LETTERS TO SAM: SYRIA**

I've found the Prophet's Tomb, but I hardly believe that I'm the only one searching for it. I'll be leaving London in a few days...I'll carry you with me.

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 _Darling,_

 _I've found something, rather unsettling. It involves this.. ancient military organization, Trinity. They have been following and watching my father and I for years before his death. I'm not quite certain of what they want. But I fear that their intentions are far from honorable. When we went back to Yamatai, I had found a few things that I had missed. They were also interested in the mystery surrounding Himiko and Yamatai. They had sent an operative in the order to acquire this "Star Phenomenon". At the moment I didn't have time to make sense of it. Who were they? How did they know about Yamatai and what were they after? My father believed that they are bent on controlling the future of humanity. There is so much work to be done, and not enough time to do it. I'm almost certain that they had something to do with his death. I've found some of his old recordings. I have been listening to them for hours on end, trying to make sense of everything. And I think I have found out what they are after._

 _What does Himiko and this Deathless Prophet have in common? Himiko was an immortal soul, changing vessels whenever her current one was decaying. The Deathless Prophet is just that, deathless. There are mentions that he had a tomb, but where? I've been studying an old manuscript that was my fathers. It shows records of The Prophet and his life that Dad had about a quarter of the way translated before he died. I've spent days translating it and I have found the tombs location. It's located in Syria. I have a flight scheduled to leave London in two days._

 _Someone was in our apartment today. I'm growing more paranoid by the second. Jonah has been begging for me to get some sleep. But after knowing that these people...are watching me, after everything that we have been through it's hard to sleep let alone turn my back. The press has been attacking me, mocking me. Ana has begged me to let this go, but I can't. Losing you, the love of my life was the the last straw. She told me to get my life sorted, but how can I do that without you? Nothing other than this makes sense to me without you. Perhaps if it had been you, grabbing my arm and spinning me around, looking deep into my eyes and telling me to give this all up, then perhaps...I would.. I think about you constantly, and I feel nothing but complete and utter anguish and emptiness when I'm alone. Jonah is constantly reminding me that I have too much to lose, and you Samantha Nishimura, my darling girl are the one that I would have lost it all for._

 _I hope I find some answers. I'm praying that I find answers. I just need you to know that I am now, and will always be in love with you. Himiko or not._

 _Yours Always._  
 _Lara_

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 **A/N: I hope you guys are enjoying this collection of letters. I would like to acknowledge the heartbreak and loss that I have dealt with this past year to help me truly capture Lara's pain. I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and followed. Also the messages that I have gotten on my tumblr regarding the story. I appreciate the support you guys. Enjoy the rest of your days off for the holiday!**


	5. THE BEGINNING

**A/N: I'm so sorry everybody, my life has been so crazy lately that I haven't gotten the time to really write or do anything. I've finally got some time on my hands, and my computer has recently been fixed so now I'm back! I always start stories and never finish them. I MUST COMPLETE THIS ONE. I'm thinking about maybe writing a sister fanfic to this one, with Sam's replies. What do you think? One thing at a time! Anyways, here's the latest letter. Thank you to everyone who's favorited, reviewed and followed!**

 **FYI: There are bits of Lara's campfire entries from the game in this letter, and there will be some in future ones as well. While playing "Rise" I liked to think that Lara was indeed writing to Sam.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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 **DOCUMENT: LETTERS TO SAM: THE BEGINNING  
**

My journey leads me to Siberia. Let's hope I can find what I'm looking for, before it's too late.

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 _My Love,_

 _I found it. I found the Prophet's tomb. In Syria. In a matter of happenstance after a car wreck, I discovered it. It was absolutely breathtaking Sam, I wish you and Dad could have seen it. According to his notes, The Order of Trinity hunted the Prophet all across the Empire, relentlessly until a confrontation happened within the Prophet's hidden oasis. Trinity seems to have been around for centuries. The tomb was empty when I had finally reached it. I was devastated, thinking that I missed something. Not long after my discovery, Trinity showed, looking for some sort of "artifact". The same artifact that my father was after...The Divine Source. The key to immortality. If it's true Sam, then everything would change, sickness, death, suffering, all gone.. Your suffering would be gone. The tomb was destroyed, and while I barely managed to escape, I found a strange symbol. Jonah found me at the manor a few nights ago, studying this symbol. I knew that I had seen it somewhere before, but where? and then it hit me. I had found it in one of Dad's books._

 _The symbol leads my journey to the lost city of Kitezh. Said to have disappeared in Siberia sometime in the 12th century. Legend says that on the eve of the invasion by the Mongol horde, it sunk beneath a lake. If the Divine Source is hidden in the ruins of Kitezh, I have to find it before Trinity does. I have to. You should have seen the way that Jonah looked at me, I think he was scared. He told me to stop blaming myself for what happened to Dad. I can't stop blaming myself, not just for what happened to him, but what happened to you. I told him that I couldn't give up on him, hiding the true reason why I'm doing this. I didn't want to let him see the unbearable guilt that I feel about you. This is all that I have now that I've lost you, and I'm determined to bring you back to me. He told me to open my eyes, stand still for about five minutes then maybe, just maybe I'd see what I have. After he left, a Trinity agent made his way into the manor, nearly killed me if it weren't for Jonah, and stole my Dad's book containing vital information on The Source. How could I let this happen? Am I crazy? I'm always thinking of what you would say.._

 _I wish this pain wasn't so familiar. Like looking an old enemy in the eye. It wants to take me down, It wants me to just lie down and die, but I won't. I can't. I'm In Siberia now, and there's something here. There's got to be or else Trinity wouldn't be in this snowy hell. Jonah and I got separated in an avalanche and I just hope that he's okay. I hope that he found a way back to the others. I.. I just can't risk having him with me. Not again. The pain of losing you was like a knife to my heart. The pain of losing Jonah too, that would be too much to bear. It'd be twisting that knife. This is my path, and mine alone._

 _I ran into a young woman here, Trinity seems to be hunting her people. They appear to have lived here for a very long time, isolated from the world. She said that if she ever saw me again, she'd put an arrow in my throat. I notice elements of her dress, small adornments that would not have been out of place in the Byzantine Empire. Could she possibly be a descendant of the Prophet's people? I wonder how much they know about Kitezh or the Divine Source. It's clear that Trinity will do anything to find out. Let's just hope that old proverb about the enemy of my enemy remains true. I just need you to know that there is never a moment where you do not cross my mind, or leave it. I carry your picture with me while I'm here. It's starting to get worn, it's been folded and unfolded so many times. My first night here, I was freezing, trying to find some comfort in the makeshift shelter that had been made close to the campfire. I wanted so desperately to go home. I wanted to walk through the door and see you sitting on the couch editing film. I reached into my jacket and unfolded the photograph, and for a moment, I found that comfort. God, I miss you so much, Sam. I wonder what you're doing. I wonder if you're getting better, or if you're getting worse. Jonah can't see it I don't think, but I'd rather Trinity kill me, right here and now than for you to be suffering another second. If I could take this all back, If I could make it all go away sweetheart, you know that I would. You know that I'd do anything for you. As long as I'm still breathing, I'm going to do everything I can to make this right._

 _I love you, always._

 _Lara_

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 **A/N: I feel like that letter was a bit longer than the rest of them, but thats good, right? Anyways I hope you guys all like what you're reading so far. And thank you for reading, favoriting, following, and reviewing! Next letter should be up soon. Happy Reading!**


	6. CLARITY

**A/N: Double Whammy! I'm honestly so determined to finish this story and start writing one with Sams' replies while she's not succumbing to Himiko's possession. Though I'm not quite sure yet. Anyways, heres chapter six.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything semi related to Tomb Raider. Lara's journal entries from "Rise" are yes, copied in here, but I have added parts to them as well.**

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 **DOCUMENTS: LETTERS TO SAM: CLARITY**

Things are starting to finally make sense...

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 _My Dearest,_

 _Konstantin is here, the man who tried to kill me in Syria. He's violent, dangerous..but worse, he appears entirely devoted to his misguided beliefs. I seem to have a habit of running afoul of religious zealots. But I suppose it all goes with the territory. His men on the radio had mentioned a prisoner with information. I keep listening to Dad's old tapes. I know that his work was important, but it didn't feel like it at the time. Now I'm starting to understand how this all made you feel...for the millionth time, I cannot express how sorry I am for that. Still, Dad being away for all that time taught me independence, how to look after myself...Important lessons as it turns out. I tried to seek out the prisoner, only to end up locked up with him, and severely betrayed. The prisoner is a man named Jacob. He appears to be one of the natives that I encountered here._

 _For the first time in weeks, things are becoming clear, Sam. I know that something is hidden here. The Soviet's came looking for it too...and now Trinity...and Ana...She's with them, Sam...God, I still don't quite believe it. I feel as though everything I know is a lie. After all this time. Did she watch my Dad as well? Did she watch us? All those times that we were.."together" after Japan? Those times where you had to keep pulling me back to focus on you whenever I heard a creak or a thud, Where you said I was trying to "fuck myself stupid" to try to justify my actions there..to help me forget. I was. You were the only thing that kept me sane, darling. The sex, post-Yamatai...as rough and gritty as it was, it was the only way I knew how to be vulnerable. The only way I knew how to take the frustration out...I only started going to therapy after I lost you. Ana was the one to suggest it. God, I was right to be paranoid. It's freezing here. What I wouldn't give to feel the warmth of your skin once more..._

 _I've got to keep moving. Jacob and I are on our way back to his village, to warn his people. There's something about him that I can't quite put my finger on..It's strange, but almost comforting. I feel as though I could tell him anything and it wouldn't faze him. I sense no judgement from him. Yet, at the same time, he's hard to read. My instincts tell me that he is a good man. He saved my life - I think I can trust him, at least for now. But I can't shake a nagging feeling that he knows more than he's letting on. He reminds me somewhat, of Roth...and Dad. Roth...I miss him so much. He was the father that I truly needed in my life after Dad died. I think about him every day. I think about you every day...I think about Dad. For years, I was so angry with him. For losing himself in his work, for chasing what I thought were fairy-tales. I had no idea. You know more than anyone that I keep telling myself that I was young, that I couldn't possibly understand. I remember the nights In bed together where you'd keep telling me to stop blaming myself, that there was nothing I could have said or done to change what had happened, but I still lost him. Now, for some reason, I feel more connected to him than I ever did when he was alive. He never got this far, but I know he's with me, Roth is with me. You are with me. The Divine Source is here, and I'm going to find it._

 _No matter where I am, however far away I am. No matter the circumstances, My heart is always..with you._

 _Until The End,_

 _Lara_

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 **A/N: There you have it! Chapter 6! I hope you all liked it, please please please, review, follow, and favorite! :) Happy Reading, I'm sure the next chapter will be up very soon.**


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